Sunday, April 26, 2009

heavy objects i have been trapped beneath recently

a reader writes...



"Dearest Zerilda,

ZERILDA!!! i demand to know where you've been! i am sitting here, waiting for you to post. do you not respect *my* time? some blogger YOU are. i RUE the day i discovered your blog. furthermore, the drivel you left me with before you left was completely unacceptable, of a standard unbefitting a neanderthal, and made me a little bit sick on my happy meal. you'd better kick it up a notch, or i am going to stop sitting here.

TAKE NOTE!

Sincerely,
Your loving mother"

i was truly moved by this heart-warming letter, and my only response is, yes, you are right. you *were* sick on your happy meal. that is unfortunate.

but wait! it's not that i don't completely care about all that time spent waiting for me to entertain and/or amuse and/or distract you from your toenail-clipping duties.

it's TRULY that i have been gallivanting. to belfast!

i have had children on my own. for 10 days. which left me realizing how much i do not want them on my own for a longer period of time...

i have been creating! a presentation for a book reading! and that is where our tale of what-the-he11 have you been starts.

you see,

...there i was there i was there i was...

performing.

[and discovering i am NOT the only :
-female
-american
-comedienne
in cardiff!

oh yes...two of us were on the same lineup!]

when my good friend says "you should read your stories at the library..."

and i thought what a heck of an idea! but i'm at borders all the time. i would like to do it there. they OWE me for all those books i bought.

OWE



so i asked them. they were very happy to let me come in. i'll be doing it towards the end of may.

BUT... BUT... BUT...

as much as i like spinning stories for the kiddies...

illustrate...


...i do not



SO! plan b = clay rats! [story the first is about pie rats!]

i absolutely love love love super soft clay



who knew?



it turns out i am not clay-ically inclined, either:



on their own, they suck a bit! boy howdy is it awful!

but as a large GROUP OF RODENTS....



not too dang bad! it's the psychology of vision or something. your eye doesn't pay attention to crappy detail, it looks at the beautiful forest for the trees! unless you think they're still crappy, then that theory really falls flat...

and now, for the pies! i only have a few made. i need to make many Many MANY more -- this week!



i need
- berry pies
- banana pies
- cow pies

thank BOB for play-doh moulds!

and on hand for seasoning...

a gift from mielikki!!!



and these chicks are just waiting to see what i'm going to do with them...





...oh and i forgot to mention, i joined a softball team (home runs! pitching!)

...and got suckered intostarted taking tennis lessons after signing daughter up for same. (wow. after 20 years of not doing it, i really sucked the first session!)

i will endeavor to try-to-try to keep poking my nose into blogland in the meantime... i miss it...
so much...

oh AND my boy is four tomorrow. thank BOB he's a boy. the girl would be *put* *out* knowing i hadn't really prepared for it. . .

who needs sleep, really...?

stay tuned...you will see my gorgeous new shoes. I KNOW!!!

I KNOW!!!