holiday day two : someone sells sea shells

when we booked the holiday, there was sun in all the land. so much sun that we believed, foolishly, that it would never stop. we would have sun for all eternity.

as if

so when it, on the next day of our sun-filled holiday, did thusly rain, we were disappointed and surprised...

okay we were disappointed...

okay we got our jackets out of the bag.

APPARENTLY,

zerilda is picky!

this i have always suspected, but was never completely sure about.

we dandered up a side-street for lunch. doctor b says "will this do for lunch?" to which i responded "sure, whatever." he says "well, you're much pickier than i am, so i'm just asking."

just when i thought he wasn't really listening, he surprises me, for, by "whatever," he knew what i really meant was :

"this won't do at all, i don't think they have appropriate food here and what's more the décor is all wrong. not only will i not eat here but i won't let your children eat here. and to prove my point, i'm going to starve myself until you get it."

his question, after all, came right after his saying "i will absolutely not eat in a cafe!" which i love doing, but have only ever done with him when there was NOWHERE else to eat.

lunch was adequate. i didn't care for it, but because i am so picky, i ate something anyway, like i always do when he takes me and the kids to the pub for lunch.

so after dipping in and out of shops all day looking at stuff i didn't want to buy and then have to dust, the sun finally FOUGHT through the clouds. it didn't fight enough to get rid of the wind, but i don't think they are linked, actually. so we walked down to the beach, but did not unzip our jackets. AAAH the holiday memories.

but while we were just walking along the beachline, emma, quilly, and dapoppins were finding some shells! before long, we had quite a collection!

before long, emma had made quite a poem for us. dapoppins was suggesting all sorts of alternative uses for the shells. but we forgot to bring glue. pity.

(1)

but that's not all. kim was getting quite a collection over near the rocks!



but those shells had to be cleaned, as did all the extra guests. sand is really hard to get off, though, and gosh, i think some of the girls felt violated...

but i was gentle. ish.


one nice thing i have discovered on this holiday : peach schnaaps plus ibuprofen makes me briefly forget my pinched-nerve-related pain.

and "my pickiness."

notes:
1 : those damn things would *not* stand up in the wind.

holiday day one : a castle-ing we did go

what fun we had.

while mr huhnpudel disappeared to BOB-knows-where all morning, i cleaned the whole of the downstairs, so that when we returned, it would be tidy.

then we did promptly jump in the car at the CRACK of 2pm. all good trips begin at schmcdonald's and this one would be no different. mr huhnpudel had some dreadful affliction affecting both his manners and his ability to talk, so a shrug was the answer to 'do you want anything?' i believe this is how the 14th year of marriages normally plays out.

he did finally overcome the ailment to direct me to take the second exit. i wanted to indicate which exit *he* should take,

and exactly how it should be taken,

...but i decided to just leave it.

and upon the sight of the seaside, his mood did alter to agreeable levels. who knew? i'm going to bottle that up and sell it!

after a good night's sleep, the first proper day of holidaying began. it not being beach weather, we went to one of wales' -NAY, THE UK's- finest castles on offer, Pembroke Castle. it truly was a wonder.

we had told sharkgirl that it was haunted by the ghost of michael jackson, but as that was only half true, i don't think she half believed us.

after wandering all the castle halls, we went to the cafe. i have birthed a child in less time than i got served at that cafe. now, to be fair, sharkgirl was out in 20 minutes, practically a whiplash birth. but STILL. 20 minutes is too long to get served when you are in a queue of three. *i* think.

it was at the point of finishing my scone that i realized i had stow-aways. i thought i had forgotten my big bag'o'bloggers in the car, but out of my pocket jumped fireblossom, the baroness, sybil, and bee.



of course we never leave a castle or museum without a proper trip to ye olde gifte shoppe, even in this, ye olde credit crunch time. but i didn't reckon that sybil, bee and fireblossom were going to be making such a scene at the spears. i mean really, the tips were made of foam! what harm could they possibly do! they wouldn't even hurt tom cruise! much...



and i thought i'd lost the baroness, and looked all over the darned shop, at one point calling the clerk an outright liar and threatening her with a very nasty brewed cup of tea if she wasn't careful to return my friend immediately, but then i spotted her, over by the puffin display. no, baroness, we cannot bring several puffins home. who would clean *that* up? not me!



we dandered past the brass-rubbings, but since we all thought that sounded naughty, we just headed back to the cottage.

mr huhnpudel had some very important sporting event to watch, and if he didn't carefully hold that couch down, we might be charged for its disappearance, so sharkgirl, monkey boy and i went down to the local beach, 200 yards away. we drove. what?! it's wales! it might rain! much of it was...uphill? both ways? honestly, it is that monkey boy takes an AGE to get anywhere, and that's when he's NOT pulling a tantrum. i wanted to be back home before i hit my 40th (i'm 38).

and of course, i was followed. we just chilled while monkey boy and sharkgirl brought natural order to the beach by returning several of the rocks on the beach back to the water. in projectile fashion.



sybil was completely in her element with so many potential airborne missiles. fireblossom was searching for some lost souls among the rocks, finding only miley cyrus and what *might* have been paris hilton, but although the rock was shiny, there was no substance whatsoever. bee was discontent with the lack of music, even though we pointed out,

the beach provides its own soundtrack. . .

mutha natuh needs a smack

yes, so, i have been waiting to do this for quite some time.

mother nature has been really getting on my last remaining nerve. first, she has made it so that the softball pitch here is more of a swampland than i'd like.



a little bit of info about softball in wales.

we play in a portion of the local park that someone from the council has taken CHALK to. yes. a chalked-off area of the park is our softball diamond.

no fencing - the ball goes behind the catcher?

she chases it into the trees.

the ball goes a little deep into left field? the left fielder has to

chase it up a hill.

yes. not quite what i'm used to. but i cope. for the softball.

but i would quite like to not wonder EVERY wednesday whether the league game is on or not. so i'm looking at you, mutha natuh! would you knock that rain crap off?! sheesh.

mutha natuh, kind of a beotch

but the final straw really came when i was trying to do a book reading in lovely c-town borders books. it had been planned for a month. i had made flyers! i had organized marketing material! but no, it was

THE FIRST LOVELY SUNNY DAY OF THE YEAR.

people went to the beach in droves. i actually think some of the borders staff left work to go to the beach. four children showed up. all belonging to my coworker d. he is a fabulous fabulous man. thank bob he has so many kids.

so i thought i would have some smack-back time. i invited my slowly growing group of blog friends to help.

cami arrived, with her blunt sword in one hand, drink du jour in the other...

sybil was a bit late because she couldn't decide which weapon to bring. in the end, she went with both of her favorites. both stabberific tools.

fireblossom wanted something slightly different. she brought flowers made from the extract of paris hilton's sense of style. mixed with madonna's sense of self-worth. very powerful.



then, my friend doozie comes along. she was doin' a fab blog on the finer points of shovels, and how they can be used to get one's point accross. she has, however, taken a break. i blame mutha natuh for that, too.

well doozie grabbed sharkgirl's newest pencil and just started whacking. i am pretty sure i heard mutha cry. i hope so. she deserves it after her latest exploits.



later, doozie and i had a chat. i will have to share that chat next time, as i can NOT find the text file. i can assure you, you'll want to read it. not *just* for the new method of persuading people to see sense via barbecue tongs...

but first. i'm a'goin' on holiday on saturday. i'm a'bringin' the laptop. who's a'comin' with me? in comments, indicate your :
-drink of choice
-snack of choice
-beach activity of choice

and it's wales so you'd better specify your :
-rain activity of choice

wow! a post! it's true!

i almost couldn't remember how to do this!

here's my explanation.

ie, "where the hell have i been," "why the hell haven't i been here," "who the hell do i think i am not being here?"

otherwise known as "the answers to dapoppins's questions"

well, first, there was that whole saving children from the inferno thing. i was a real hero that day.

then, of course, i was at a world peace conference. they listened to *none* of my ideas. particularly iran. they just would not listen to a thing i said. i said 'stop being so jerky.' they said 'no! die american!'*

after that it was off to convince a certain someone NOT to take their own life. mostly because i didn't want to listen to their songs over and over again until the end of time. well, we all know how *that* went.

after two items of failure, it was time to lay low for awhile. i needed to properly grieve.

i'll always remember farrah.

i'll always remember ed.

i'll always remember billy.

and the rest.

okay okay okay maybe i haven't been doing any of those things. if you want the 'where the hell have i been', here are the highlights:

first i had a book to do pictures for because i was presenting it to some children, allegedly, and then it turned out that only six children showed up.
i'm not bitter about that because HEY! all the pictures are done! but then i had to print the friggers off, after some photoshop touch-ups. i did an AMAZING job of getting two really polished packages off to agents. i know it was good because i got VERY FAST responses from them. both were no. one, though, said 'your ideas made me smile'.

yay. i am glad you smiled. hey, you know, your smiling would mean more if you could PUBLISH ME!!!

then there was a competition, the link of which will be available after i post this. results aren't available on that until next week. LONGEST.FORTNIGHT.EVER.

and in the meantime i have been playing softball because i missed it sooo sooo much. BUT the captain of the team went on holiday, so i said i would look after the team for him. this is something i don't think i ever want to do again without also having a very painful bikini wax just for fun.

sharkgirl was one of the main characters in a production of "the golden age of chocolate," otherwise known as 'the school's version of "charlie and the chocolate factory." i was EXTREMELY proud of her. i almost didn't notice my butt hurting from sitting in that chair for two hours. almost.

AAAANNND just because i thought somehow i had time for it, i agreed to do a website for my brother. i can do websites. static, functional websites. the one HE wants is done in FLASH!

ohmybobi'mtired!

and what did all that get me? a whole lot of pain.

just look at all my pains :



in particular, i have huge pains in my buttock-al region...



both sides! this cheek is mainly doin' sympathy pains. that i can do without!



so THAT pretty much sums up what's been going on.

oh wait...i also watched the whole first and second seasons of dexter, to prepare for the third. which i'm now two episodes behind on, because of aforementioned "stuff".

NEXT : i am soooo giving mother nature a good kick up the backside. she has been...what's the word? a beotch.

* = this is of course untrue. just had to make sure it was clear.

heavy objects i have been trapped beneath recently

a reader writes...

"Dearest Zerilda,

ZERILDA!!! i demand to know where you've been! i am sitting here, waiting for you to post. do you not respect *my* time? some blogger YOU are. i RUE the day i discovered your blog. furthermore, the drivel you left me with before you left was completely unacceptable, of a standard unbefitting a neanderthal, and made me a little bit sick on my happy meal. you'd better kick it up a notch, or i am going to stop sitting here.

TAKE NOTE!

Sincerely,
Your loving mother"

i was truly moved by this heart-warming letter, and my only response is, yes, you are right. you *were* sick on your happy meal. that is unfortunate.

but wait! it's not that i don't completely care about all that time spent waiting for me to entertain and/or amuse and/or distract you from your toenail-clipping duties.

it's TRULY that i have been gallivanting. to belfast!

i have had children on my own. for 10 days. which left me realizing how much i do not want them on my own for a longer period of time...

i have been creating! a presentation for a book reading! and that is where our tale of what-the-he11 have you been starts.

you see,

...there i was there i was there i was...

performing.

[and discovering i am NOT the only :
-female
-american
-comedienne
in cardiff!

oh yes...two of us were on the same lineup!]

when my good friend says "you should read your stories at the library..."

and i thought what a heck of an idea! but i'm at borders all the time. i would like to do it there. they OWE me for all those books i bought.

OWE

so i asked them. they were very happy to let me come in. i'll be doing it towards the end of may.

BUT... BUT... BUT...

as much as i like spinning stories for the kiddies...

illustrate...

...i do not

SO! plan b = clay rats! [story the first is about pie rats!]

i absolutely love love love super soft clay

who knew?

it turns out i am not clay-ically inclined, either:



on their own, they suck a bit! boy howdy is it awful!

but as a large GROUP OF RODENTS....



not too dang bad! it's the psychology of vision or something. your eye doesn't pay attention to crappy detail, it looks at the beautiful forest for the trees! unless you think they're still crappy, then that theory really falls flat...

and now, for the pies! i only have a few made. i need to make many Many MANY more -- this week!



i need
- berry pies
- banana pies
- cow pies

thank BOB for play-doh moulds!

and on hand for seasoning...

a gift from mielikki!!!

and these chicks are just waiting to see what i'm going to do with them...

...oh and i forgot to mention, i joined a softball team (home runs! pitching!)

...and got suckered intostarted taking tennis lessons after signing daughter up for same. (wow. after 20 years of not doing it, i really sucked the first session!)

i will endeavor to try-to-try to keep poking my nose into blogland in the meantime... i miss it...
so much...

oh AND my boy is four tomorrow. thank BOB he's a boy. the girl would be *put* *out* knowing i hadn't really prepared for it. . .

who needs sleep, really...?

stay tuned...you will see my gorgeous new shoes. I KNOW!!!

I KNOW!!!

happy easter

Zerilda is on holiday in belfast.

she leaves you with this crap?

I looked on Google maps street view and found that Google have totally mashed up the side of my car...




ALSO - if you voted for Talysa and i *don't* have your physical address...email your preferred gift destination to zerilda dot huhnpudel at googlemail dot com :)

How odd! It is saying I posted this at 3:50 am. That is so untrue. If it were really that time, I would be much more floaty. As it is, I am pretty conscious of everything, including Monkeyboy delivering steady, repetitive kicks to my back. I think I'm going to check him in to the cargo bay on the plane this evening. . .

Zerilda's adventures in networking

So what harm could possibly come of this?

I was happy to help a girl out from Tiny Town, WY.

Only two obstacles to my civic duty stood in my way:

1) Registering on the site, which I confess I had *not* done until clicking 'Publish' on the post.

...30 minutes later, I now belonged to several sororities,

had a subscription to 'College Girl' magazine,

I think I actually am now the founder of a new scholarship,

I may have hired a 'Dweeb' to be my new nanny, whatever *that* is...

and had started wearing my hat with the brim on one side of my head.

Also, I think my children are now signed up to go to Wellesley. I don't think Monkeyboy will be too keen on that. Who knows?

One thing is for sure...I wish I had *that* half-hour back, but still had the benefit of having voted for Talysa.

2) Do this without launching into my normal must-make-fun-of-stuff self. <--totally am going to fail in about a second...

She's currently up against "The Lord will do it for me."

If the Lord is going to move Mount Fiji for you, honey, why are you in a contest to get money? Shouldn't The Lord be swinging that entrance exam, getting you financial aid, and packing your stuff into that U-Haul?

Also, she "...enjoy(s) using (her) talents to help others in any way that (she) can, whether it be working in inner city missions or fixing a broken bracelet for my sister..."

Touching! I was usually the one who *broke* my sister's bracelet, so I clearly have nothing in common with this chick. NO VOTE FOR YOU!

She is into "Arts and crafts in my spare time (which there isn't much of)." So...you *don't* do much of this...but mentioned it anyway. Okay. Well I'm sure *my* gal Talysa has LOADS of stuff *she* doesn't do much of either! She should totally have mentioned it. I'll let her know.

AAAANyway...I did promise prizes. And I will I WILL draw those random entries for the prizes.

Here's an idea of what the lucky winners, once they are drawn, can expect :

A BAG!!!



Just look at the statement of quality :



And! Everyone needs a lemon-fresh smelling car/room/cave. Well, now they can have that. Well, one lucky person can.



I didn't get a picture of the chocolate dragon poo. I think you'll like that, though.

I am pretty sure I can get dragon socks. Anyone on for winning that? And if you haven't figured it out by now, you can pretty much win what you tell me you want.

Inflatable daffodil*? Anyone? Get them while they're room temperature filled by slightly warmer than room temperature gas?

SYBIL : no, you may not have my first born. You can rent her, but not have.

CATH : okay. some chocolate for you. :)

* Yes, they actually have these here.

Cennynpedr asks a favour

My dear friend Cennynpedr's mother is a newspaper writer. I believe they call them journalists these days. New-fangled wordology. Honestly!

Anyway, Cennynpedr received an email from her mother this morning, and she asked me to post it.

I said SHUT UP I DO MY OWN STUFF! of COURSE I'd love to do something for a good cause. Why only last week I helped teach the orphans of Oslo to sing. The week before that, I adopted a pack of mathematically challenged monkeys. But, before I run the risk of not taking this seriously (which I do, but BOB knows I can't just not pass comment, silly or no), please see what she has to say.

"got a favor to ask of you - and ALL your blog friends.

there's a website zinch.com that's giving away a $20,000 scholarship to the winner of the 2009 Zinch diggity dawg competition.
i've been helping a girl from "a one-stop-light-town" in Greybull by putting the story in the paper. So far she has made it through 3 of the 6 legs of the competition, has won the West division and is now up against the winner of the East division in the 4th leg. The closing date is 4-6 EARLY. If she wins that she goes up against the winner of the North/South division. Then, walaa, she gets the $20K.

wouldn't it be neat if a gal from podunk wyoming won this national competition? it's really easy to enter. it's fun to watch the numbers. 'course you can only vote once in each competition - and the race heats up the closer it gets to the deadline.

would you at least check it out? and maybe see if your friends will help her? it's my small contribution to trying to do something good for somebody. even if she doesn't win the big one, i've had a blast keeping her in the news and reminding people to vote for her."

I am asking you to please do this.

Show you love me by showing support for a person I don't know but whom the mother of "my friend" has been helping.

Wyoming never gets anything, people!

I AM OFFERING A PRIZE !

i will draw at random, names from a man's hat. those names will be those who've left a 'i did it' comment in my comment section.

UPDATE : the person to vote for is here : Talysa Stockert

first prize : TBD but you'll just love it.

second prize : a personalized LIMITED (to one!) edition Zerilda Mug. okay it may have STARTED at IKEA, but it was hand Painted by Zerilda. only the very FINEST of arrows and comments will be used.

third prize : a year's supply of my well wishes, and possibly the man's hat. no. scratch that. CHOCOLATE DRAGON POO (comes from a shop in Cardiff). If you are a Dairy Milk lover (Leendaluu), I can get you a big pile of that.


*NOTE : it is highly unfair of me to ask a favour when i'm experiencing blog-intermittency, but TRUST me you will like *why* i have been intermittent. Not one, but TWO projects that are going to be ABOLUTELY huge. Oh yes. If you want, you can have a signed copy.

Qrazy Question QXday

OH! The delay again!

Project Supertastic

is keeping me busy.

It is just plain magnificent.

But that is another post...

Anyway - let's get on with meeting the third inductee to OH! MY! BOB!



We were chillin' on the piano wondering : whoever would join us next?

The doorbell went. It was the elegant Fireblossom. She is also found here.



So we had a little chat!

Zerilda: sorry - i just got in, had to get myself a cuppa, and then get a biscuit
(sorry, i mean cookie)

Fireblossom: oh, I speak fluent UK

Zerilda: nice! so i could say car park to you!

car park!

and i could say mobile!
and i could say 'i'm going on holiday!'

Fireblossom: you could add a "u" to humour and glamour

Zerilda: and colour!

Fireblossom: I took the liberty of removing all the vowels from Bruce Willis's brain this afternoon

Zerilda: is he much different now?

Fireblossom: he sounds serbian

Zerilda: aaah. so no.

Fireblossom: not a whit

Zerilda: he's newly married, isn't he?

Fireblossom: i understand he married jacko in a private ceremony aboard a garbage scow under the Portuguese flag

Zerilda: wow. i didn't think either of them were Portuguese!

Fireblossom: well, they weren't BORN Portuguese. they had a devil baby which jacko promptly dangled overboard



Zerilda: well, you do one baby...gotta do them all...

Fireblossom: haha

Zerilda: okay so you have three wishes. you can't ask for more wishes. what are your wishes?

Fireblossom: For the television program "Cash Cab" to not merely drop off losing contestants, but to publicly vaporize them on the streets of new York

Zerilda: oh yeah that's a good one

Fireblossom: 2. For Oprah Winfrey to become fully aquatic...

Zerilda: as opposed to partially, which she is now...



Fireblossom: for all football leagues everywhere to be disbanded and replaced by open air shopping bazaars where men are baited and made to do tricks while being led on leashes

Zerilda: aaaaaah. now this i have to take issue with, only because i discovered that football serves the purpose of keeping men out of places i want to go for portions of a weekend.
and rugby.

Fireblossom: well this is true, but involuntary space travel accomplishes the same thing

Zerilda: what about just the jerks?

Fireblossom: yes. jerks only to the blue platform on level 5, please



Zerilda: YEAH! it's just that my son, i have grown accustomed to him... y'know

Fireblossom: oh, sons are exempt. I have one as well

Zerilda: fantastic. are you able to sing a particular song that would maim a person?

Fireblossom: ha! yes....

"Everything is Beautiful"

I can sing it either in trailer trash version or oriental pidgin
it includes the lyric 'there is none so blind as he who cannot see"
soo wise, i think

Zerilda: are you...really....also... trailer trash? or do you just sing it

Fireblossom: goodness no I am elegant. if i hear ee haw misic I begin to sag, and if there is yodeling in it, I become desperately ill within seconds

Zerilda: hee haw - how many people has THAT damaged? why were none of those people punished?

Fireblossom: it's tragic. they all become Toby keith and terrorize their communities

Zerilda: welcome to hell, here's your hee haw dvd. if ever there was a group of people needing to be shipped to their own planet, eh?

Fireblossom: someplace where it is far too cold to possibly play steel guitar

Zerilda: what was the last ritual you performed?

Fireblossom: I turned katie Couric into an invertebrate as part of a solstice celebration!

Zerilda: that is AWETASTIC! was it hard to do?

Fireblossom: no, but she kept screeching. she can no longer do latin dances

Zerilda: what - you mean

katie couric no longer tangos?

Fireblossom: I blame that lady from the weakest link

Zerilda: Anne Robinson

Fireblossom: yes

Zerilda: yeah - i can't decide who i dislike more, her or simon cowell.

Fireblossom: when i was in London, i saw that she was still at large

Zerilda: OH IF THEY HAD KIDS. what would that be like? surely their kid would be the subject of a quest

Fireblossom: they would be lovely.

Everyone knows that stuff skips a generation

Zerilda: true! i didn't think of that

Fireblossom: ;-)

Zerilda: it would be the loveliest kid on the planet! you couldn't get within five feet without being blessed or something!




Fireblossom:

my toaster whispered it to me

Zerilda: oh - bill cosby is it?

Fireblossom: yes Bill Cosby's spirit

Zerilda: did you know that i bought Phylicia Rashad-os at the grocery store today? they are like honey nut cheerios, but not as honey-oriented

Fireblossom: that bitch - she does hang up calls here at all hours. she tells me how many pounds she has lost

Zerilda: okay here's a quick-fire round:
who

Fireblossom: Horton

Zerilda: where

Fireblossom: in the air

Zerilda: what

Fireblossom: a big green truck in the sky

Zerilda: when

Fireblossom: 4pm time for tea

Zerilda: why

Fireblossom: why not?

Zerilda: excellent. okay here's the clue (the board game) version :
who killed who in the where with the what

Fireblossom: oOOOOoo!!!...
Ben Affleck was killed
with a fast moving passenger locomotive
in the study
the killer was....
Calista Flockhart...
driven mad by her marriage to Harrison Ford

Zerilda: wow. who knew calista had human strength? did you get a picture of it?

Fireblossom: I made a rock-umentary of it

Zerilda: sweeeet. okay last q, then i have to go to bed. it's a big'un
your door is, right now, being beaten down by anti-poetry campaigners. you have to grab a makeshift weapon NOW. what object do you grab, or do you just rush into your safe room, hoping they fall into the trap you made earlier?

Fireblossom: that's easy
I start discussing menstruation with my gf and the attackers, all male, disperse in seconds flat

Zerilda: i have really thoroughly enjoyed this, and wish i could do it longer! but 7 am is going to kick my butt in all kinds of new, innovative ways, so i'm taking my reluctant leave now. thank you for this honour!

The letter of glittery love

Dear Teacher,

I hope you can read this. I have decided to correspond to you in the medium of glitter and glue, using ONLY the glitter that has fallen off in my house from the art project you send home each week. I hope you have as much fun *doing* the projects as I have *picking* the glitter up off my floor. EVERY. DAY. It's a party in and of itself.

Anyway, I wanted to thank you for teaching me the futility of sending a spare pair of clothes every day, as you requested. I have enjoyed carrying the bag of spares as well as my son, who's trousers are completely rain-soaked (I hope that's rain. ..). I'm sure he's much better off stewing in the wet trousers than running around, say, nude. I am developing an impressive set of muscles, and have cancelled my now-unnecessary gym membership. I know what I'm going to do with *that* extra £15/month.

I do have one request, though. Would it be possible to be made privy to the official after-school-club time? OR, could we possibly get said club an accurate time-keeping device? My own watch is set to three minutes ahead of GMT, but when I showed up at 5:50pm on Tuesday, I was informed that I'd be charged for arriving 3 minutes past 6:00. They said they were going by their mobile phone clock, which, BOB KNOWS is a reasonable thing to do, but I just think possibly it should be set correctly. I will be happy to pay the late fee if I ever arrive *actually* late, by an official measurement. I believe a good rule of thumb in this Kingdom is 'if the Queen considers it late, it's late.'

Thank you, and happy glitter-picking-up. I know *I* always enjoy it...

Yours in craft,

Zerilda, The Superfluous Blogger,

mother of

Monkeyboy, the Prolific Glitter-er.