I was, em, attending a performance of a well-loved local comic. And I needed the week to prepare for, em, watching her. She was funny. I am now in the thick of writing a whole pile of material for her. Hopefully she'll decide to use it. "PAY ME, BEOTCH!" is what I will say to her. But, you know, in a nice way. :)
ENOUGH OF THAT!
So imagine my delight when I came across this today:
Just when I thought I *wouldn't* find the appropriate way to BEGIN my career with chickens!
But that wasn't my only find. I had innovative food product requirements. And at Ptesco, my needs were satisfied thusly:
YES!
Finally! My mouse-based food needs will be met.
And it just wreaks of wholesome family goodness! One bite of this and my kids will want to be nerdily good until they are well out of high school!
But it gave me an idea. If we could eat a mouse, surely we could eat other celebrities. And I am hereby going to start a series of
Celebrity Luncheon Meats.
INSTALLMENT NUMBER ONE : PARIS HILTON CHICKEN
It is every bit as tasty and needy as the real life version. And RICH! You never tasted such rich chicken.
It is low fat, but if you take it to other countries, it will try to get other meats to be friends with it, by making the other meats perform humiliating activities for the paris-hilton-chicken's amusement.
And it leaves you feeling strangely unfulfilled. Also, if you eat it very long, say, more than 30 seconds, you find yourself dumbening down a bit. OH FRIG! I'VE EATEN TOO MUCH!!!
I'm afraid the tale of retribution will have to wait a week, while I have my stomach pumped. It is back to the drawing board.
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