Project Supertastic
is keeping me busy.
It is just plain magnificent.
But that is another post...
Anyway - let's get on with meeting the third inductee to OH! MY! BOB!
We were chillin' on the piano wondering : whoever would join us next?
The doorbell went. It was the elegant Fireblossom. She is also found here.
So we had a little chat!
Zerilda: sorry - i just got in, had to get myself a cuppa, and then get a biscuit
(sorry, i mean cookie)
Fireblossom: oh, I speak fluent UK
Zerilda: nice! so i could say car park to you!
car park!
and i could say mobile!
and i could say 'i'm going on holiday!'
Fireblossom: you could add a "u" to humour and glamour
Zerilda: and colour!
Fireblossom: I took the liberty of removing all the vowels from Bruce Willis's brain this afternoon
Zerilda: is he much different now?
Fireblossom: he sounds serbian
Zerilda: aaah. so no.
Fireblossom: not a whit
Zerilda: he's newly married, isn't he?
Fireblossom: i understand he married jacko in a private ceremony aboard a garbage scow under the Portuguese flag
Zerilda: wow. i didn't think either of them were Portuguese!
Fireblossom: well, they weren't BORN Portuguese. they had a devil baby which jacko promptly dangled overboard
Zerilda: well, you do one baby...gotta do them all...
Fireblossom: haha
Zerilda: okay so you have three wishes. you can't ask for more wishes. what are your wishes?
Fireblossom: For the television program "Cash Cab" to not merely drop off losing contestants, but to publicly vaporize them on the streets of new York
Zerilda: oh yeah that's a good one
Fireblossom: 2. For Oprah Winfrey to become fully aquatic...
Zerilda: as opposed to partially, which she is now...
Fireblossom: for all football leagues everywhere to be disbanded and replaced by open air shopping bazaars where men are baited and made to do tricks while being led on leashes
Zerilda: aaaaaah. now this i have to take issue with, only because i discovered that football serves the purpose of keeping men out of places i want to go for portions of a weekend.
and rugby.
Fireblossom: well this is true, but involuntary space travel accomplishes the same thing
Zerilda: what about just the jerks?
Fireblossom: yes. jerks only to the blue platform on level 5, please
Zerilda: YEAH! it's just that my son, i have grown accustomed to him... y'know
Fireblossom: oh, sons are exempt. I have one as well
Zerilda: fantastic. are you able to sing a particular song that would maim a person?
Fireblossom: ha! yes....
"Everything is Beautiful"
I can sing it either in trailer trash version or oriental pidgin
it includes the lyric 'there is none so blind as he who cannot see"
soo wise, i think
Zerilda: are you...really....also... trailer trash? or do you just sing it
Fireblossom: goodness no I am elegant. if i hear ee haw misic I begin to sag, and if there is yodeling in it, I become desperately ill within seconds
Zerilda: hee haw - how many people has THAT damaged? why were none of those people punished?
Fireblossom: it's tragic. they all become Toby keith and terrorize their communities
Zerilda: welcome to hell, here's your hee haw dvd. if ever there was a group of people needing to be shipped to their own planet, eh?
Fireblossom: someplace where it is far too cold to possibly play steel guitar
Zerilda: what was the last ritual you performed?
Fireblossom: I turned katie Couric into an invertebrate as part of a solstice celebration!
Zerilda: that is AWETASTIC! was it hard to do?
Fireblossom: no, but she kept screeching. she can no longer do latin dances
Zerilda: what - you mean
katie couric no longer tangos?
Fireblossom: I blame that lady from the weakest link
Zerilda: Anne Robinson
Fireblossom: yes
Zerilda: yeah - i can't decide who i dislike more, her or simon cowell.
Fireblossom: when i was in London, i saw that she was still at large
Zerilda: OH IF THEY HAD KIDS. what would that be like? surely their kid would be the subject of a quest
Fireblossom: they would be lovely.
Everyone knows that stuff skips a generation
Zerilda: true! i didn't think of that
Fireblossom: ;-)
Zerilda: it would be the loveliest kid on the planet! you couldn't get within five feet without being blessed or something!
Fireblossom:
my toaster whispered it to me
Zerilda: oh - bill cosby is it?
Fireblossom: yes Bill Cosby's spirit
Zerilda: did you know that i bought Phylicia Rashad-os at the grocery store today? they are like honey nut cheerios, but not as honey-oriented
Fireblossom: that bitch - she does hang up calls here at all hours. she tells me how many pounds she has lost
Zerilda: okay here's a quick-fire round:
who
Fireblossom: Horton
Zerilda: where
Fireblossom: in the air
Zerilda: what
Fireblossom: a big green truck in the sky
Zerilda: when
Fireblossom: 4pm time for tea
Zerilda: why
Fireblossom: why not?
Zerilda: excellent. okay here's the clue (the board game) version :
who killed who in the where with the what
Fireblossom: oOOOOoo!!!...
Ben Affleck was killed
with a fast moving passenger locomotive
in the study
the killer was....
Calista Flockhart...
driven mad by her marriage to Harrison Ford
Zerilda: wow. who knew calista had human strength? did you get a picture of it?
Fireblossom: I made a rock-umentary of it
Zerilda: sweeeet. okay last q, then i have to go to bed. it's a big'un
your door is, right now, being beaten down by anti-poetry campaigners. you have to grab a makeshift weapon NOW. what object do you grab, or do you just rush into your safe room, hoping they fall into the trap you made earlier?
Fireblossom: that's easy
I start discussing menstruation with my gf and the attackers, all male, disperse in seconds flat
Zerilda: i have really thoroughly enjoyed this, and wish i could do it longer! but 7 am is going to kick my butt in all kinds of new, innovative ways, so i'm taking my reluctant leave now. thank you for this honour!
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