Thursday, March 5, 2009

After the concerts, he's going to take up golfing

Well well well. It is the end of an era, again.

Michael Jackson announced today that he is throwing in the towel on 'it' :

"This is it," Jackson said in a brief statement ... "And when I say this is it, I mean this is it."


Please BOB let it be so.



Here he is at the press conference:



But by 'it' he kind of means 'ish', because he might be playing gigs elsewhere in the world. So it's just the people in the Kingdom United by the Queen who he no longer will perform tooapparently, at night, grammar skills are gone to whom he will no longer perform, probably.

If I were a fan, I would be only mildly worried at this possible cessation. Twice I have gotten in a taxi driven by dudes who were such big fans of Michael they were almost wearing military jackets. One drove with a white glove. Fortunately, I wasn't going very far in either case, because neither of them were very good singers. YES. THEY SANG.

Have you ever heard a british taxi driver sing 'Shamone...HEE HEE HEE'? It is very disconcerting.



On Wednesday, Jackson launched a lawsuit against an auction house to stop the scheduled sale of more than 2,000 personal items from Neverland, including platinum and gold records, a customized Harley Davidson and a Rolls Royce limousine.

Really. MJ has a Harley. REALLy. Well that's easy to picture. He is such a Hell's Angel-ish dude. The streets would be so much safer if they alleviated him of that possession. I know *I'd* feel safer.



Apparently, if you own expensive things and used to be the King of Pop (they're now saying it's Justin Timberlake...that's really another post...), you can show up more than an hour late.

You know, when I'm going to be more than about fifteen minutes late, I call.

If I'm going to be more than twenty minutes late, I bring muffins.

If I'm going to be an HOUR late, I say I'm not coming. Then I buy the person a great big chocolate apology cake (that's for Sybil).

WHERE IS THEIR GREAT BIG CHOCOLATE APOLOGY CAKE?



I imagine Michael's not great in the kitchen, so he'd have to go to PTescos.

TO BE CLEAR - I never imagine Michael in his home. I don't need those kind of thoughts in my brain.

This is for Quilly :

I imagine that Michael Jackson's paucity of good sense comes from his post-stardom apanthropinization, which would not have occurred had he stuck with his childhood instrument, the zither.


Michael, playing an early, less scary version of "Thriller"

20 comments:

  1. Celery.
    celery celery celery.
    I'd rather talk about celery ad nauseum than MJ,.
    Celery with Cheese Whiz
    and raisins.
    stringy stringy celery.

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  2. your 3 word is brilliant!! but of course that doesn't surprise me

    Michael makes me sad ...

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  3. Love the motorcycle photo ! ... SHAMONE SHAMONE ha ha haaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. Now THAT is a post. Nothing like the crappy drivel I posted tonight.
    Where is my mojo? Have you seen it? Did MJ dangle it? did he Shamone it?

    sigh...

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  5. [applause] I love it! That has got to be the best MJ Three Word Thursday ever done! I hope all the others get a chance to see it. They'd die laughing.

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  6. I am totally NOT a fan of MJ, however, I do feel a wee bit sorry for him. Even for a freak it must be hard to see all your possessions being sold off at auction like that. I think he must have more than physical 'health challenges' to be what and where he is... and yet he still does have feelings, still a human. More than enough said on that topic!!

    Three Word Thursday was very well done. Mine takes more than 1 sentence, lol.

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  7. I am not a fan ot MJ,but as others have said I do feel sorry for him. I remember when he was just a kid and had so much going for him.
    Great three word challenge.

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  8. Hate celery. Loved your use of Quilly's words. Just about as good as it gets.

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  9. Hahahaha!
    I think the song he meant to sing was "Billy GENE".
    So glad to hear he's packing it all in. He should've done that long ago. Out of the reach of children.
    And he still owes me a big, chocolate apology cake.

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  10. You never did tell me if celery smells.

    I do not heart MJ ... he skeeves me out

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  11. So does that mean that after his erm, farewell tour, he will never come here again? I'm hoping so. Oh my Bzob Z I love this post. You made me snort with the 'Wanna be endin' somethin' comment. I had to explain it to Miss E, and then I sang. Sighhhh. Wonderful. MWah. x

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  12. Your three word sentence is brilliant! Well done! Love the captions for MJ too.

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  13. Did you know that Dr. John has made your blog his link of the day?

    Did you know that Dr. John commented on your blog using his wife's persona? (Bettygram). They've been married so long they sometimes get confused as to which of them is which.

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  14. freik, freak, friek. The Scary Clown Award is waiting for you at my blog.

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  15. MJ has fallen on hard times indeed. To pay off his debts, he has had to take a job as a speed bump in the Tesco's lot. Publishers declined to purchase his tell-all book about his erotic astrolabe collection, leaving him desperate and addicted to PEZ. Convinced that he being haunted by the spirit of his original nose, he is a broken mockery of his former self. So sad. Kind of. But not really.

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  16. Does he promise to never ever ever ever ever visit the UK again? Or to release any more songs?

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  17. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


    Ann

    http://externallaptop.net

    ReplyDelete
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